'cukoo! cukoo! cukoo!

Well its 12 midnight, and I'm still up. I heard the grandfather clock ticking and my eye lids are so heavy that it will close in no time. I would really love some rest if I can afford to. Just a  little of myself. I really love sleeping, and other than singing, I think my hobby is sleeping. This week had been really tired and there was 3 out of 5 days that I slept at 1. I usually sleeps at 11 so to me 1 is really a 'big' figure. I'm so sorry i keep dozing of in class.I really can't help it. I accidentally fall asleep even when I'm writing and I tried my best not too sleep but I failed. I need to organize my time better so I wouldn't have to sleep at 1 in the midnight. I wonder how my brother does that every single night. I pity my mum who had always been the 1 waking up and checking on us. To me, my brother is just inconsiderate and don't think for my mum. I had been nagging and now I'm fed up. I really don't know what to do to him and sometimes I would even think that i bother too much and start to blame myself for being such a pain in my brother's ass. I cried in my blankets and I couldn't help it. I wonder if i would really need to take psychology in order to understand other humans better and the most important thing is too persuade them to get on the bring side, the correct side. I won't say I'm 100% correct but all humans know about the theory of what is right and what is wrong. Just that we do not follow, and create sins in life.

p/s:teacher please correct my grammar as well as all the errors. Thank you.

Music week

This week was the 1st week after holidays. Nothing much happened except that there was a lot of homework. Quite an amount of teachers were absent on certain days. On Friday was Jacq's birthday, someone I really admire. Her voice is really good and she doesn't have any problems in her singing. Her sense of music and the way she look at music is really very good and I love her very much. Her birthday gift was really interesting and I haven't had the time to prepare it. Our show on Saturday wasn't too good. Some of us weren't please by our performances and some were living in their own sweet world, not noticing their mistakes and slacked like no ones business. At least maybe we could use this performance to let us realize that we aint that good and to let us wake up from our worlds to buck up and continue improving. I love the people in choir. Their voices are just so unique and beautiful. I have this friend that made me suddenly feel like improving my English. The way he speaks made me feel that I'm a typical Malaysian and can't speak good English like what the describe as the ' China Apek' . I don't wish to fall in that category but what can I do? I really need to start thinking harder on what I should do to improve my English. Maybe I should read more...but books just doesn't attract me....What should I do... I really need to improve my English... I don't want to be left out in the society that speaks proper English and I hope I'm determined to achieve me goal.

Attitude

This was really a late entry but i will not have this entry if i had done my homework earlier. Next Saturday, 24th of March, Naturally Vocal, a private choir group which consists of 25 of us will be performing at KL Pac, Pentas 1 at 8 p.m. These people are really good, really love singing with them. This show is a collaboration with 3 more choirs and 1 of them are actually coming in all the way from Indonesia. Looking forward to the show and hope i could see anyone of you that will be reading this blog. I thank you all in the first place not because that i'm sure all of you will come but to read my blog patiently. Usually, the only thing that consists in this blog is bad grammar, crap and more crap, so, really thank you for reading but I hope you all can really attend the show from my bottom of my heart. Now going into the main topic why I named this topic attitude.
I was really happy because i just came back from choir practice, we've practiced hard and i'm looking forward for the performance. Well, today was our full-dressed rehearsal. Even after when I went into the car after choir, the only word that could be described is still satisfy. Satisfy to have so many awesome, cool, talented, friendly, crazy, hyper, loving friends. Everything went smooth even until when i reached home. The first thing i did when I reached home was to clean my face that was covered behind make-up. I'm quite sure I cleaned my face thoroughly, and it should be clean but I felt that there are still residues left. I tried cleaning it once more and I proved myself wrong when I saw the clean cotton. I went downstairs to pack my bag. My mum told me that my face wasn't well cleansed and even I knew that there was a possibility, good advices just can't seem to get through my mind. I talked to my mum like a rebellious child. Deep inside myself my second personality was struggling. I said I would prove to her that nothing is left and I went straight upstairs. When I was cleaning my face. I looked at the clean cotton but wasn't convinced that my face is clean. I have a feeling that on that cotton really exist of small molecules of make up. I came down with a clean cotton but when I gave it a thought, the main reason why i'm doing all these is just too ensure that my face is clean and acne or sebum won't be secrete and mum just cares about me. What my mum told me was, 'you don't have to show me.' with an unpleasant tone. I went into the kitchen straight away and tears rolled down my cheeks. I hated myself, hated the attitude of mine, the attitude that wouldn't want to lose. I wanted to shout out but I can't. All I want to say is I'm really really very sorry mum, I'm really sorry. Sorry....I love you....Please forgive me...'