Attitude

This was really a late entry but i will not have this entry if i had done my homework earlier. Next Saturday, 24th of March, Naturally Vocal, a private choir group which consists of 25 of us will be performing at KL Pac, Pentas 1 at 8 p.m. These people are really good, really love singing with them. This show is a collaboration with 3 more choirs and 1 of them are actually coming in all the way from Indonesia. Looking forward to the show and hope i could see anyone of you that will be reading this blog. I thank you all in the first place not because that i'm sure all of you will come but to read my blog patiently. Usually, the only thing that consists in this blog is bad grammar, crap and more crap, so, really thank you for reading but I hope you all can really attend the show from my bottom of my heart. Now going into the main topic why I named this topic attitude.
I was really happy because i just came back from choir practice, we've practiced hard and i'm looking forward for the performance. Well, today was our full-dressed rehearsal. Even after when I went into the car after choir, the only word that could be described is still satisfy. Satisfy to have so many awesome, cool, talented, friendly, crazy, hyper, loving friends. Everything went smooth even until when i reached home. The first thing i did when I reached home was to clean my face that was covered behind make-up. I'm quite sure I cleaned my face thoroughly, and it should be clean but I felt that there are still residues left. I tried cleaning it once more and I proved myself wrong when I saw the clean cotton. I went downstairs to pack my bag. My mum told me that my face wasn't well cleansed and even I knew that there was a possibility, good advices just can't seem to get through my mind. I talked to my mum like a rebellious child. Deep inside myself my second personality was struggling. I said I would prove to her that nothing is left and I went straight upstairs. When I was cleaning my face. I looked at the clean cotton but wasn't convinced that my face is clean. I have a feeling that on that cotton really exist of small molecules of make up. I came down with a clean cotton but when I gave it a thought, the main reason why i'm doing all these is just too ensure that my face is clean and acne or sebum won't be secrete and mum just cares about me. What my mum told me was, 'you don't have to show me.' with an unpleasant tone. I went into the kitchen straight away and tears rolled down my cheeks. I hated myself, hated the attitude of mine, the attitude that wouldn't want to lose. I wanted to shout out but I can't. All I want to say is I'm really really very sorry mum, I'm really sorry. Sorry....I love you....Please forgive me...'