Childhood fear

I have no idea why but i'm really very afraid of tiny circular substances when i was young. It makes me feel very icky and i just can/t help keeping my eyes away from it. Sometimes when i have allergies on my hand, i just feel like scrapping off my skin instead of torturing myself looking at it. Although i'm afraid of all theses circular things, i forced myself to look at overgrown cancerous cells. Those that are in a ball form. I believe there is nothing that i can't overcome and I the cells actually doesn't irritate me that much. I even enlarged the pictures to take a closer look at it. That's how crazy i am.
Besides that, I was always afraid of the dark when i was young. I shifted to my new home when i was 7 and i actually have my own room. I was always very afraid to sleep alone and needed my dads accompany. Until when i was 8 or 9, my dad eventually stopped accompanying me. I could sleep but every night before I fall into deep sleeps, I would have to wrap myself in the blanket like a wantan. Of course i've grown up now and i'm not too afraid of the dark anymore.
I remember when i was 8, I watched a Thailand horror movie ALONE. At first, i remember watching it with my dad but after that when i looked around,there was no one but me. I had no idea why but i stood still in front of the television. Well of course i freaked out after that and I don't watch horror movies till now and I don't think i would every watch any anymore.
I don't really like going to the cinema too, I even cried when i was watching cars...and of course other shows like narnia and harry potter but of course I don't cry now.

Journal

Its been quite some time since I've posted a new entry. I  was really busy recently. There had been choir practices for the whole month. I feel that my voice is almost gone but I think it was really worth it. We won in the 1st competition and will be representing Selangor state for the national competition that will be held soon in Johor in September. Even though we won in the 1st competition, us seniors now that it wouldn't  be easy for the next competition. The juniors didn't understand tat and they rode on our victory and thinking that we were really good and very much expected, we got 3rd. The cluster school Nazir's came to our school and told us:' If you want to be the niche program. You will have to maintain your results and continue to achieve results that you had been achieving for the past few years.' This really gave all of us lots of pressure especially our teacher adviser. She had worked so hard to bring us up there and if we had made 1 wrong move, everything will be going down the drain and our past successes will be gone to waste. We were really very afraid. We worked really hard in order to maintain our standards. I've almost teared for every single rehearsal when there was mistakes or some minor issues. I really can't help it. I hold back because I knew that my pressure wouldn't be as bad as the teacher's and the deputies. All the teams were really very good. We were all very worried. Even though we knew we were good, we just can't help worrying. We did our best and the results were really very satisfying. We did it. We won...Everything paid off...Thank god...We won 1st and we won the best conductor prize. I even broke both my heels when we were announced as the champion. Love HYC!

Discrimination essay.

It is clearly seen in the society that prejudice lies within everyone and discrimination happens everyday in our daily life. There are many types of prejudice and a few very obvious examples are the race, sex, religion and many others. Prejudice is the way we think of others. I guess we had actually discussed about this in the classroom so I will not say something as shallow as this. How do we stop having prejudices towards others is how we can stop discrimination. It starts of from us treating all humans the same as one and another. Of course all humans should be responsible of their own act and don't make others fear off you. We should stop thinking of people the way we assumed it is. Try voicing out our own opinions towards others and get a reasonable answer for whatever that is confusing or bothering you. Its not their fault that they were born different from others. They can think of us as normal humans and yet we think of them as abnormal people. Why do 'normal' people like us have to have prejudice towards others? Aren't we abnormal to think that they are abnormal? Make a change. Don't ask what others can do for you but rather what you can do for others. Its difficult to satisfy the billions and millions of people in the whole world but you could at least start from satisfying yourself. Start correcting your own mind perception and don't have stereotype or scapegoats within our souls. Discrimination would not live within humans if everyone think like that and do a little for others.

results....

This term's results certainly wasn't good. I've got all my 60+ and 70+ but only 1 83 and 1 90. Its really quite miserable. I really think I should work harder but I've never tried studying in my whole life. Its been 15 years since I 1st started learning but had not even once tried to study. Everyone is trying so hard to achieve good results and yet I am still slacking without thinking of my own future. I thought I would at least be able to apply for a scholarship but in the end i ended up only getting 3 As. Its really sad to see that. I wonder what will my mum's reaction be when she sees my results. I really hope she doesn't get too mad. Today is the 1st day I tried buying something more than RM50 on my own. Usually I will buy things under my mum's supervision but today I did it myself. It felt quite alright but I still prefer my mum;s company. At least she will be able to give me advice about the product and I wouldn't have to pay for it. Its quite fun to buy stuff on my own too. Really have to thank this friend of mine. I really enjoyed my day. Thank you.

1st week of holiday

Its the 1st week of holidays. I started my holidays with very interesting programs. First,  I went to Malaysia's Choral Festival. Its their 10th anniversary. It was really interesting. The songs that were given were not only usual songs that we sing but music scores with graphics and so on. I had learnt a lot of new things through this workshop. We sang some weird songs like the 20th century contemporary music which no audience understood. They started at those that were performing when my friends were performing. I missed the performance because i had to attend my dad's cousin's daughter's wedding dinner. I don't realy know them but what to do. We are considered as relatives too. On 27th of May is 1 of my friend's birthday. I really cherish this friend and I hope we will continue to sing together, have fun together and be friends forever. She may not be very close to me as she is just to popular but I hope I will always be there for her whenever she needs me because I just know too much about her. Her sister's death 1 year ago made him really sad. She seems to be fine now but i guess she still can't really walk out from darkness. I hope I could help her and may god bless her. Happy birthday...

article

Dear editor,

I as a citizen of Malaysia would like to comment on a few inconsiderate issues of Malaysia citizens.
Firstly, Malaysian smokers smoke in public. Not only that, they smoke in air conditioned places or enclosed areas such as the non-smoking rooms, elevators and so on.
Besides that, the people in Malaysia do not have the perception of being clean. They spit everywhere they go and they litter every possible place except the garbage bins.
Furthermore, last week when i was happily enjoying my movie in the cinema, a phone suddenly rang and there came a loud voice talking on the phone.
Next, I went of for dinner and I saw the table next to me having a reunion dinner with their ex-school mates. Their phones cant stop ringing and all of them seems to be busy entertaining their phones.
Lastly, I went out with my family members for food last Sunday. While we were peacefully having our dinner, the kids of the table next to us started running around and making a lot of noise. Not long after that, the parents started quarreling and in the end, our peaceful dinner went to waste.
These are the few inconsiderate acts i would like to complaint about. I hope to see a better environment. Thank you.

Regards,
Chia Min  

:)

I've skipped class for 1 week and might continue to skip class for the next week. I had participated in some poem recital competition and I practiced for the whole week. I trained the juniors and told them how to deliver their piece. They did not did their best during the competition but at least they tried and I'm really happy to have the chance to coach them. I got 2nd and they got 4th. I am quite satisfied with my results as I did not get any award last year. 1st was someone from Katholik High. She was a really good friend of mine. I really love her and I feel that it is alright to lose to her. Eventhough I am satisfied with my results I still hope I could get into the states competition. I hope they could make me an exception and let me in.

Traffic Congestion

I just came back from the South of Malaysia not long ago, reason being there was a massive traffic jam on the high ways. Malaysians have very bad habits in the way they drive.
1st, they create accidents.
2nd, they can't stop looking at what had happened on the other lanes.
3rd, they want to look at the number plate to buy their 4Ds.
4th, they just have really bad skills in driving.
This are the reasons why we always have massive traffic jams in our country. I'm really tired now after the jam, having a really stiff shoulder. I should just get into bed and enjoy that moment.

'cukoo! cukoo! cukoo!

Well its 12 midnight, and I'm still up. I heard the grandfather clock ticking and my eye lids are so heavy that it will close in no time. I would really love some rest if I can afford to. Just a  little of myself. I really love sleeping, and other than singing, I think my hobby is sleeping. This week had been really tired and there was 3 out of 5 days that I slept at 1. I usually sleeps at 11 so to me 1 is really a 'big' figure. I'm so sorry i keep dozing of in class.I really can't help it. I accidentally fall asleep even when I'm writing and I tried my best not too sleep but I failed. I need to organize my time better so I wouldn't have to sleep at 1 in the midnight. I wonder how my brother does that every single night. I pity my mum who had always been the 1 waking up and checking on us. To me, my brother is just inconsiderate and don't think for my mum. I had been nagging and now I'm fed up. I really don't know what to do to him and sometimes I would even think that i bother too much and start to blame myself for being such a pain in my brother's ass. I cried in my blankets and I couldn't help it. I wonder if i would really need to take psychology in order to understand other humans better and the most important thing is too persuade them to get on the bring side, the correct side. I won't say I'm 100% correct but all humans know about the theory of what is right and what is wrong. Just that we do not follow, and create sins in life.

p/s:teacher please correct my grammar as well as all the errors. Thank you.

Music week

This week was the 1st week after holidays. Nothing much happened except that there was a lot of homework. Quite an amount of teachers were absent on certain days. On Friday was Jacq's birthday, someone I really admire. Her voice is really good and she doesn't have any problems in her singing. Her sense of music and the way she look at music is really very good and I love her very much. Her birthday gift was really interesting and I haven't had the time to prepare it. Our show on Saturday wasn't too good. Some of us weren't please by our performances and some were living in their own sweet world, not noticing their mistakes and slacked like no ones business. At least maybe we could use this performance to let us realize that we aint that good and to let us wake up from our worlds to buck up and continue improving. I love the people in choir. Their voices are just so unique and beautiful. I have this friend that made me suddenly feel like improving my English. The way he speaks made me feel that I'm a typical Malaysian and can't speak good English like what the describe as the ' China Apek' . I don't wish to fall in that category but what can I do? I really need to start thinking harder on what I should do to improve my English. Maybe I should read more...but books just doesn't attract me....What should I do... I really need to improve my English... I don't want to be left out in the society that speaks proper English and I hope I'm determined to achieve me goal.

Attitude

This was really a late entry but i will not have this entry if i had done my homework earlier. Next Saturday, 24th of March, Naturally Vocal, a private choir group which consists of 25 of us will be performing at KL Pac, Pentas 1 at 8 p.m. These people are really good, really love singing with them. This show is a collaboration with 3 more choirs and 1 of them are actually coming in all the way from Indonesia. Looking forward to the show and hope i could see anyone of you that will be reading this blog. I thank you all in the first place not because that i'm sure all of you will come but to read my blog patiently. Usually, the only thing that consists in this blog is bad grammar, crap and more crap, so, really thank you for reading but I hope you all can really attend the show from my bottom of my heart. Now going into the main topic why I named this topic attitude.
I was really happy because i just came back from choir practice, we've practiced hard and i'm looking forward for the performance. Well, today was our full-dressed rehearsal. Even after when I went into the car after choir, the only word that could be described is still satisfy. Satisfy to have so many awesome, cool, talented, friendly, crazy, hyper, loving friends. Everything went smooth even until when i reached home. The first thing i did when I reached home was to clean my face that was covered behind make-up. I'm quite sure I cleaned my face thoroughly, and it should be clean but I felt that there are still residues left. I tried cleaning it once more and I proved myself wrong when I saw the clean cotton. I went downstairs to pack my bag. My mum told me that my face wasn't well cleansed and even I knew that there was a possibility, good advices just can't seem to get through my mind. I talked to my mum like a rebellious child. Deep inside myself my second personality was struggling. I said I would prove to her that nothing is left and I went straight upstairs. When I was cleaning my face. I looked at the clean cotton but wasn't convinced that my face is clean. I have a feeling that on that cotton really exist of small molecules of make up. I came down with a clean cotton but when I gave it a thought, the main reason why i'm doing all these is just too ensure that my face is clean and acne or sebum won't be secrete and mum just cares about me. What my mum told me was, 'you don't have to show me.' with an unpleasant tone. I went into the kitchen straight away and tears rolled down my cheeks. I hated myself, hated the attitude of mine, the attitude that wouldn't want to lose. I wanted to shout out but I can't. All I want to say is I'm really really very sorry mum, I'm really sorry. Sorry....I love you....Please forgive me...'

The 1st 'Most Important Day' in every year

Last week was really a very interesting week. On the 22, 24 and 26 were all my close friends birthday. 22nd was Shi Hui's birthday and she is really special to me because she was once my friend as an assistant head prefect in primary and she had been very nice to me through out these years. Too nice in fact. Sometimes i just feel that she doesn't have the temper and she doesn't get mad at all. Honestly speaking, sometimes i would rather want her to yell at me or something to make me feel that she really is human. Shes almost like a robot except that shes alive. On 24th was 1 of my primary ex-head prefects birthday too. She used to be very close to me to the extend we always do things in pairs but time really flies and the the way we think is just too different until our friendship actually came to an end. Not to say we're not friends anymore but it just feels weird when we tried talking to each other. On the 26th was my primary head prefects birthday. I called him personally and talked to him for a short while. Those were really memories...From these 3 people I could see the past and present. I will be going into the main topic I would like to talk about today and I believe i will see future. On the 21st was my mum's birthday.... I guess i was happier than her... I just love her a lot. Words can't express how much love there is. Hate never existed in the dictionary which i use to describe my family members. Many thing just ran through my mind when i was trying to type this post but in the end nothing came out. Love is just so abstract that we could only feel it but not say it out in words. I remember seeing this winnie the pooh quote.
 Piglet :' Pooh, how do you spell love?'
 Pooh :' You don't spell it, you feel it'
This is all I could share. I can't type it but rather I feel it. I apologize and all I could do is to write a journal with no facts in it. Just like this....
She is my everything she is my past, present and will be my future...
'No mum, no Chia Min'    - Chia Min-

Drama review

As an audience, I fell that our drama was a little messy and chaotic at first. Everyone was like talking behind backs of one and the other. Back stabbing others and thinking of what the individuals wanted. One will be praising the other one in front of them but saying something else behind of them. This is how ugly humans are. I don't say that i could be excluded because i'm classified as homo sapiens too. Basically, if i would have to sum up the whole conversation, they would say it as ' from this script what I can see is that this is a student that can write very well but there is no sense of humor in them....' I'm not too sure weather to classify this as a compliment or insult but from these conversations, what i can understand is, we aren't satisfy. No one really voiced out the problem so we started our practice full of anxiety. Worried that we will not get an award in the competition. No one really cooperated in the practice, they acted in the play just to satisfy what others wanted. After their scene, they will continue complaining and continue acting again. This process went on and on. We had no faith i ourselves. We felt bored and had no motivation but at the same time I could see that they worked hard. I wasn't in the hall on that day but from the way they expressed themselves after their show, I could see that everything was fine and they really enjoyed themselves. Not a faint unhappiness was sensed and all of them think they've done their best. Even if we did not win anything, we know that what we've done had paid off and we deserve a placing.

The different defination of love.

Well, its quite obvious that on the 14th of February, which is this week's Tuesday is valentine's day. I don't really want to comment a lot on it as i don't really celebrate it. Would just like to thank a few friends for giving me gifts and will continue to love everyone that loves me and everyone else whom I know. I don't get why some people say that they do not love their friends or certain people. We could pay so much love to but our pets, animals and even non-living objects like clothing but why not to humans? People are just weird and do not think. In my world, there is no such word as hate. Everyone will make mistakes and what we could do is to tell them politely. It doesn't take much to tell a person what we feel about him or her. No matter what others do, we should always forget about their mistakes, we should always forget about the past and continue to look forward, to continue our journey. Not too say we forget about our past in the sense that we don't learn from our mistakes but rather forget about mistakes done by others and continue loving them. I had a friend that once wrote a quote that dedicated to me in my little note book that we, primary kids love passing around taking down people's biography and autographs. It goes like this... Forgive and forget you won't regret. I think it makes sense and I remembered it clearly and will continue to remember it till the very last breath of my life. Humans aren't perfect and we should always learn to tolerate each other. Learn to love every single thing that lives on earth and appreciate everything that was given. You will benefit from it. At least, millions and billions of cells won't die because of hatred.

The hectic week

This week was really very hectic. Its really tiring. Its like a domino effect. I don't get good sleeps last Sunday and therefore I don't get good sleeps on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on.... Among all school days,  Monday until Friday was still fine but Saturday was really a special day. I learnt a lot on this day. I feel that it is special in the sense I am a prefect and I get to train my leadership skills and further improve myself from how to    tell the prefects of until how to control my self-emotions. Everyone was really very panic and worried running around the school. At that moment, I knew that this is the time for me and maybe everyone in school at that moment to learn. Student have to learn to obey to instructions, prefects receiving instructions and giving it out to students and teachers giving out the wisest instructions. I really think our DJ teachers are really really awesome. I admire them from the bottom of my heart especially those that were there to give us "lost sheeps" instructions. I knew I didn't really do a good job on that day not sure in what sense but I'm just not satisfy on my performance on that day but well it was really chaotic. Sunday was another special day this week. Relatives came and my mum suggested that we watch movies, so I set upped a mini theater at home. Unfortunately, everything did not went as smooth as expected. Previously my brother had been setting up these speakers, projectors, players and  everything in less than 30 minutes yet we did not appreciate it. Now he is in Russia and I truly miss him. It tooked me 2 hours to set up everything and yet it wasn't as perfect as his. My relatives joked around and said that this was the worse cinema ever. The only thing good about this cinema is the food. Before the show even started everyone's stomach was already filled with food. The CDs didn't really cooperate with us but luckily in the end we managed to watch 2 shows. This week isn't really any different from others but through everything that was done in this week. I learned that I have to appreciate everything that was given and be thankful.

Article

Night Without End

by Ho Chia Min

 As we drew closer towards the ice glacier, I saw a man that looks like a priest had taken hold of a girl by pointing his gun at her and holding her hostage.The marine's mission is to relocated and re obtain a highly confidential object that was stolen.The Marines that were moving towards the group of people were moving with stealth for fear of alerting the opposition to our presence but unfortunately we were sighted by our foes.
  The man started to panic after seeing us and pushed the girl into the tractor and he went in and drove but another man threw himself towards the tractor and shouted. Suddenly the tractor was completely out of control and had spun around several times and went straight into one big rock. I was a man and a woman fell into a crevasse and followed by a man jumping down into it as well. After about a couple of minutes , i saw the a girl coming out followed by a man and a radio coming out as well. For the other guy i supposed is the criminal never made out and what happened to him is a mystery.

My 1st journal in 16 and 1/4 years

Chinese New Year will only end tomorrow according to the chinese believes but our holidays had already passed 1 week ago. What is happening? Time seems to fly and I feel that it isn't sufficient. " I demand for more time!" Well I guess everyone will think about this but its time to face reality. After reading everyone's blogs, I feel that I am different from everyone. Everyone had been thinking of their future and I am still living in my own sweet world. Never worried of what carrier I would pick up in the future and will never be worried. Not too sure if its a good thing but this is the reason why I do not have stress. Being stressed out is really bad for health. Anyway, this year's Chinese New Year is really very boring. I feel that the atmosphere isn't filled with joy and laughter like the previous years, maybe its because the economy is bad. I went to the seaside this holiday and was expecting to go for water sports but some issues had happened and the trip wasn't really enjoyable but looking at the bright side, I did not get tan and i guess that is a good thing. Well Form 5 really isn't quite the same as the the previous school lifes. Its hectic. Lots of homework, therefore in conclusion, teachers should give lesser homework. Thank you.